How To Be A Fly Asian

My family and I were having dinner at T.G.I. Friday’s last weekend, and I was astounded to see how American children behave these days. Utter disrespect for their parents, on their cell phones texting all evening long, no “pleases” or “thank-yous.”
That never would have happened if they followed Confucius’ teachings. Instead, they emotionally coddle their [...]

I get bumped out of the line at the cafeteria. I’m the last pick/first out at dodgeball. But goddamnit, I own that motherf*cking DDR machine sitting in front of the movie theater! Do you see that? Do you see those pulsating lights, those metallic dance pads with directional arrows? Good god, directional arrows haven’t given [...]

When I decide I’d like to be the center of attention at dinner, whether I’m on my first date with a woman, or at a pot-luck with friends, I try to talk about something everyone finds interest in. Like, Yu-Gi-Oh! Usually I focus on my deck building, but I’m willing to compromise, and talk about [...]